Saturday, August 20, 2016

Motherhood- A Journey

It took me one and half years to start this page, although everything is well captured in my mind still its high time that I start documenting it. The journey of being a mother, it has been quite a roller coaster.

Motherhood is a journey and there is nothing called ideal here. The situation that may work for me may not work for other mothers. The moment you become a part of the 'Mother’s Club', you are officially out of the partying, social gatherings and figure-hugging dresses. Not that your friends shun you but you become so involved with your baby that either you bore them to death with talks about the colour of your baby's poo or you hardly get time to socialize and long only for sleep whenever you get any time off. Luckily, I have two great friends who took me out and help me being a part of world outside.

The most important challenge is time management, it is extremely difficult as I have twins and I am a working woman. And since my husband is working outside India, he can help with babies only occasionally. The only thing that saves me is my parents they are half the parents of my kids. In fact if I have to think of people who have right over my kids after me is my mother, she is half the mother of my kids as she has raised my kids when I was busy in my office. Since I had difficult pregnancy and a cesarean, my mother has been actively involved in first taking care of me and then taking care of my kids.

I cannot ever forget that moment when a few minutes after my delivery, the doctor bought them to me. They were wrapped in pink dress, wet hair, pink lips and white skin. That’s all I remember in that drowsiness. Since I had a cesarean, I was drowsy. Though I heard my kids crying 10 minutes back only, I think they took time to stitch me up. Doctor later told me that I was talking continuously in the operation theatre. I remember saying doctor- not to make me blind folded and increase the temperature and why are you shaking my bed, why are you taking so long, why are you pulling me here and there. Yes, indeed I was a talkative patient.

The first three months were extremely difficult. Feeding the twins at every two hours, oiling them, cleaning them made me and my mother extremely tired. It took two months for us to set our life according to baby’s routine. We could not sleep for nights and then gradually with time we became more organized, it took us time to figure it out, however we did it. We used to take charge on alternate nights so that I can sleep one night and my mother can sleep next night. We fixed this up with alternate nights and this really helped.

As time progressed, their sleeping patterns settled and we were more at ease. Though they used to sleep late, still it was much better. I recovered gradually, hence things started falling in place; I also learnt how to carry them and put them to sleep (something that used to terrify me to no end earlier as my kids were quite underweight). And the time came for me to get back to work. I joined back office though it was one of the most difficult phase of my life. Leaving three months babies at home and go to work is one of the bravest, most difficult things I have done in my life.  But I looked at the positive side (I know I am leaving them in the hands of my mother- person I trust the most.

Life has been roller coaster since then. Since it was just me and my mother taking care of the babies, my husband dropping in only once in months, I had to be extremely organized and planned. Thanks to online shopping, I have managed to take care of my babies need with just a click. From diapers, wet tissues, bottles to clothes I order everything online in bulk. It was difficult in the beginning but gradually I took the responsibility of taking care of their daily needs alone.  I also got hold of a medicine shop that delivers medicines and milk powder at home. The only time we had to go out was to get babies vaccinated that I could not arrange at home, though I tried this also.

Then came the phase when my kids started crawling, when they started crawling they started falling. Despite our trial they used to fall. So, we got our house carpeted so that when they fall they don’t hurt themselves much.

It was only after their first birthday, life became smoother. My father came back after retirement so now its not just me and my mother my father is also one of their favourite prey. My babies just love their grandfather, they are their lifeline now. Though now they are extremely naughty and playful, they show tantrums for eating food and want to go out every evening; I still love this phase. Both my babies are big time attention seeker, they love when their aunts, uncles and grandparents come to visit them.  Since they are first twins in my maternal family, they get too much attention from all close relatives and they love the attention.

I have laughed till my stomach hurt, cried, sang, danced, made all sorts of faces and ran around, done completely silly things with them and for them. Each day is a memory in itself and a new lesson is  learnt. These lessons make me learn new skills; I am no doubt a different person today. My priorities have changed, I rush home after work, cringe when there are after work parties and my weekends are all dedicated to them. It’s been ages I watched a movie in the theater, or read a book (what book, you are kidding me).

 Life has transformed in a big way and I know it will never be what it was again. But I love this new life and the person who made it so magical. I have turned one and a half years as a mother and every day I learn something new, something better, some days I fail, some days I succeed, but this journey of motherhood is extremely unpredictable, exhaustive still a blessing.